The French philosopher Teilhard de Chardin once said, "we are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience." This quote inspires me. It gives me great hope and even greater purpose. It generates meaning in a world where meaning is often difficult to find.
The great questions of this human experience, are answered by developing spiritual intelligence. Its pursuit focuses us, on personal meaning making experiences. This practice, makes it possible for each of us to know what we want, and more importantly, who we want to become, which enables the spiritually intelligent individual to clearly express what his or her impact in the world will be.
Spiritual Exercises
I often speak of a set of behaviors that help us develop spiritual intelligence. I like to call them, spiritual exercises. It is not a term I coined. I discovered it when I read the biography of Ignatius Loyola, the founder of the Jesuit Movement.
Loyola practiced a month long program of meditations, prayers, considerations, and contemplative practices. He said that the exercises were the foundation of his spirituality. Though he had a system that worked for himself, he encouraged others to follow their own hearts and develop their own individual programs. He believed that if a person chose his own method, he would more likely conform to it.
I took his suggestion to heart and developed my own exercises. One of the things I decided to do is to study the sacred writings of the various faiths of the world. I wanted to get to know the minds of their great leaders, the doctrines that define them, and the teachings that inspire them. It is proving to be a very rewarding experience. I am constantly uplifted by the beautiful messages and the many similarities that exist between the many different groups. It is hard to believe that they all could be wrong on so many different things.
The Mystery of Equanimity
I recently read The Essential Kabbalah by Daniel C. Matt. I came across a passage that stopped me in my tracks. I found it to be mysterious and did not really understand what it meant. The passage reads as follows:
"Whoever attains the mysteries of cleaving to God will attain the mystery of equanimity, and if one attains the mystery of equanimity, one will attain the mystery of aloneness."
I was pretty confused by the word equanimity. I looked it up because I didn't really know what it meant. I knew by its root that it must have something to do with being equal, but even the definition did not really help me understand the meaning of the above sentence. After pondering the question for a while, I decided to continue reading. I came upon a new passage that answered my query by sharing an ancient story.
A lover of wisdom came to one who secluded himself in meditation and asked to be accepted as one of them. The master replied, "My son, may you be blessed from heaven, for your intention is good. But let me know: Have you attained equanimity or not?
He responded, "Master, clarify your words."
He explained, "My son, if one person honors you and another humiliates you, are the two equal in your eyes or not?"
He answered, 'By the life of your soul, my master! I do feel pleasure and satisfaction from the one who honors me and pain from the one who humiliates me – but I am not vengeful, nor do I bear a grudge."
The master said, "My son, go away in peace. For as long as you have not attained equanimity and still feel humiliation from something done to you, you are not ready for your thoughts to be linked on high. You are not ready to come and seclude yourself in meditation. But go and humble your heart further, genuinely, until you attain equanimity. Then you can experience aloneness."
Raising The Bar
This is a goal that I am striving to attain. It is not an easy pursuit. Humiliation is a difficult pill to swallow and it happens frequently. For me, it is much easier to practice equanimity with those who are further away from me, and much more difficult to practice it with those closest to me. Their offenses sting so much more deeply. It is very hard to receive it without feeling that pain, let alone seeing it as equal to the appreciation that I feel from being honored.
I am growing in this area, and I am learning many lessons. Learning to see all forms of feedback as equal is opening my eyes to so many improvements I can make to become my very best. I still find myself feeling defensive, but that feeling is quickly becoming a sign to pause and truly hear what is being said. Some of the most difficult messages are proving to be the most life giving message. They are providing me with the impetus I need to look inward and to focus on what I need to do raise my own personal bar.
The Quantum Leap
With each step, a new understanding is entering my core. It is something that I really did not expect.
Initially I thought that learning to see honor and humiliation as the same would free me from worrying about how others interpreted my behavior. My hallucination was that because I was developing equanimity, others should too. To me, this meant that how they chose to see my actions was their own responsibility. If they felt humiliated and got upset about it, then that was their fault.
The "aha" moment came when I discovered that developing equanimity gave me a greater capacity to love others. Seeing the value in the feedback helped me appreciate the person who was willing to give it to me. I see now that when I can successfully remove the honor or the humiliation from the words, and more importantly from the messenger, then I can begin to see what is really going on around me. This new level of awareness is bringing light to my understanding. I am nowhere near perfection yet, but I can see progress being made. That inspires me to stick with it.
Invitation To Progress
My invitation is for each of us to consider our responses to the feedback we receive.
Are you able to learn from your fanatics and your critics? If so, how do you show gratitude for their voices? If not, what is preventing you from seeing how these messages can really help you grow?
This is not an easy process, but it is worth it. Each step along this path brings us closer to reaching our true potential. That is a trail I expect to be on a long time.
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