We are in full "wedding" mode. In many ways we are living our own version of "Father of The Bride". The wedding reception will be in our backyard and even though we have been getting it in shape for about three months, there is still a lot to do.
The Family Puzzle
We have a backyard pool that we put in about 15 years ago. It still looks pretty good, but some of the tile has fallen off. One of my tasks was to make sure that it got fixed. About 45 tiles had come unglued, so I spent a couple of hours figuring out where to put each one and then began attaching them back in place.
As I installed each tile, I thought about all of the memories in our backyard pool. I remember our very first swim as if it happened yesterday. We had only three kids at the time and as we played in our Jacuzzi, Christina, who was only five years old said, "now we can spend even more time together as a family".
We have grown since then, and our family continues to change. My tile project helped me to see things as they really are; our greatest joys come from the time we spend with our family. The definition of family changes as we grow. 30 years ago, it was defined by my role as a son and a brother. Now it is defined as a husband and a father. I suppose, I will always occupy all of those roles, but each one takes on more of a focus at different times in our life. Someday, I will add Grandpa, and Great Grandpa to the list of family roles that belong to me.
This week, my family will gather, one-by-one, to watch my daughter enter into a covenant marriage. They are not coming to see our beautiful home or to taste the wonderful food that we will offer. They are coming to witness the union of two people who are covenanting before God, angels and earthly witnesses that they will be true and faithful to each other.
The Road Ahead
The other day, Mike, my new son-in-law, told me that he had spent a sleepless night thinking about Christina. He told me how much he loved her and how thankful he was to be receiving her as his wife. We spoke for a moment about his current feelings and then we reflected on the state of marriage in the world today.
I reminded him that many people enter into marriages today with the exact same feelings, and they think that they will always feel that way, but for some reason lose that loving feeling. At one time, our society accepted the words "until death do you part", as words that defined the marriage commitment. Now, marriage has become a temporary phase of life. Many are entering into marriage with the thought that if it doesn't work out, they can always get a divorce.
Mike and I then spoke about a much bigger picture. When he marries Christina, he will enter into a covenant that we believe, through their faithfulness to each other, will extend throughout time and all eternity. I asked him, if he would love Christina 500 billion years from now. He of course said yes.
His love for Christina, will not be measured by what he feels today. Instead, it will be measured by how he grows that love, how he honors that love, and how much he makes that love the center of his life. Anything short of that, will make the love that he feels for her today temporary.
Our Period of Waiting Is Over
Tomorrow, the union of Mike and Christina begins. It is an exciting time. They have prepared themselves for this moment. They will now give themselves to each other. Their efforts will now be combined. They will give up many of their individual pursuits for collective goals.
Our family is changing again. We are saying good-bye to some roles and responsibilities and hello to some new ones. It will take some time to adjust, but those adjustments will happen, and we will enjoy the process.
Stacy and I have long looked forward to this day. We have taught our children about the importance of family. Our lives are a testimony of those beliefs and values in action. Our children understand that our greatest successes are found right here at home, and not out in the world. They know that a missing piece in our family is much more significant than a missing piece of tile in the pool. They know that what is about to happen for Mike and Christina is not about the party, the guest list and the gifts. They understand that it about entering into a sacred covenant to be one.
We feel a great sense of satisfaction to know that our daughter learned that message and that she is now forming her own family. She is the first, so we are thankful that she is setting an example for those that will follow. Families are forever. There is a new one forming this week. How incredibly awesome is that!
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